parodyfandomcom-20200223-history
Waynebob Werewolfpants: Pizza Delivery
Episode 1 of Waynebob Werewolfpants Transcript: Branch: starts at Transylvania Inc with Wayne cleaning a table Hurry up with those chairs, Wayne, it's after closing and I'd like to go HOME. rings Wayne: I got it, I got it! Coming. for the phone but Branch answers it first Branch: Hello? Sorry, sir, we're close... Franklin snatches phone Ben Franklin: Hello, there, Transylvania Inc. How could I help you? explains order over phone Pizza? turn into dollar signs Um... Of course we have pizza. Branch: Uhh, Mr. Franklin... Ben Franklin: Our delivery troll will bring it right over. up Branch: Mr. Franklin, we don't serve pizza. gets a plate of burgers and turns it into pizza. Then he puts it in a box We don't deliver. Ben Franklin: We don't deliver, but you do. Branch: Can't you just get Wayne to do it? Ben Franklin: Great idea! Take him with you. sneaks over smiling Branch: That's not what I had in mind! Wayne: Vehicle inspection complete! We're really making history here Branch. That lucky customer is going to get the first Transylvania Inc Pizza ever. Branch: Good, then you drive. Wayne: I can't, I haven’t driven since my car was towed Branch: Come on, Wayne. It’s just around the corner. Wayne: Well, yeah, but... Branch: Just do what you used to do. Wayne: Well, okay. Wait, don't tell me. Branch: Back it up. Wayne: Huh? Branch: Back it up. Wayne: Right, back it up. to move the stick shift down Branch: Back it up! Wayne: Okay, okay. Branch: Shift into reverse, Wayne! Wayne: Reverse? Oh, yeah, reverse. imagines the words "FORWARD" and "BACKWARD" turning into Korean characters, 앞으로가 (FORWARD) and 뒤로가 (BACKWARD) Branch: BACK IT UP! Wayne: gears Backing up! Backing up! backs up really fast Branch: to get the wheel NO! Wayne! You did it wrong! Gimme the wheel, Wayne. Give me the wheel! Give me it! Wayne: Backing up! Backing up! they spin around and around and around, screaming. The next morning, the car goes over five hills Backing up. Backing up. Backing up. Backing up. stops with no fuel left Branch: Well... you backed up. And you know what? I think we’re out of gas. And you know what else? echoing We're in the middle of nowhere! Wayne: And you know what else else? I think the pizza’s getting cold. Branch: And the pizza's cold? Oh, the pizza's cold. Not the pizza! Oh, how could it get any worse? car and the car starts up again and goes forward fast back to Transylvania Inc Wayne: Well, we can still deliver it on foot. walk on the sand Branch: Ow, ow ow. Wayne: singing The Transylvania Inc pizza is the pizza for you and me. The Transylvania Inc pizza is the pizza... Branch: ...And my feet are killing me. Whoa. over Wayne Wayne? What are you doing? Wayne: ground It’s an old trick I taught my kids once. Branch: Wayne, this is no time for... Wayne: Shh, shh, shh. It's working. Branch: What is it? Wayne: to the road Truck! 16 wheels. Now I can show you how the pioneers hitchhiked. dancing in the road Whee... eee... Truck Driver: Crashin' thrashin' break dancers! Branch: He's stopping! He's stopping! realizes he's not stopping and grabs Wayne out of the way where they are covered in sand thanks to the truck Wayne: The Transylvania Inc pizza is the pizza for you and me. The Transylvania Inc pizza is the pizza free delivery. The Transylvania Inc pizza is the pizza very tasty. gets carried around in the air by the huge winds Branch: Will you let go of that stupid pizza, already?! Wayne: I can't, it's for the customer! Branch: Well Who cares about the customer?! Wayne: I do! Branch: Well, I don't! Wayne: stops Branch! flying again Branch: Let go of that pizza! Wayne: No! over Branch Branch: Ow. Wayne's legs Wayne, let go of that pizza! Wayne: No! Its for the customer! Branch: Wayne! Let go of the pizza! up into the tornado Wayne: Nooo! Branch: Wayne! down Hang onto the pizza! spits them both out. Wayne uses the pizza as a parachute but Branch falls hard onto the ground Hey! Hey! up to the screen Where’s the road? Where's the road? We're doomed! How are we gonna get home, which way do we go? lands What are we gonna do now! There's no road here! Wayne: I think town's this way. points Branch: Oh, don't tell me, the trick you taught your kids? Wayne: That's right. Moss always points to civilization. Branch: That way? That way there? So, let me get this straight... you think that we should go that way? Wayne: Yep. Branch: Well, then I'm going this way. the other way Wayne: Huh? Branch, wait! I don't think… Branch: Trust me, I know where I'm going. out to show another city in the other direction Wayne: sings The Transylvania Inc pizza absolutivally. later pizza... beatboxing pizza... Wayne is walking backwards. Wayne's butt cheeks move up and down simultaneously while he continues to beatbox. Still later Transylvania Inc pizza is the pizza, yeah, for you and yelling me! later Transylvania Pizza... for you. Trans... Inc and the... pizza inside. they are both lying face down in the sand Branch: Wayne, we gotta eat something. Wayne: I heard in times of hardship, us wolves would eat trees. eats part of a tree No, maybe it wasn't trees. spits out the wood pieces Maybe it was sand, no, no, mud. Branch: Give me the pizza! Wayne: Wait, I remember now. It was trees! Branch: Give it to me! Wayne: No, we promised it's for the customer. Branch: music plays You're right. It's for the customer. Wayne: Yeah! Branch: Maybe we better check on it, make sure it’s okay. Wayne: Well? Branch: Just a peek. box Wayne: shuts it quickly Okay, it’s fine. Branch: No, I think I saw something. box Oh, no. I was wrong. It looks okay. Sure is a fine looking pizza. Wayne: Yeah. Branch: What's that? Is that the cheese? Wayne: Yeah! Branch: And the pepperoni? Wayne: Yeah! Branch: Oh, looks good, huh? Wayne: Wait a second, I know what you're trying to do, Branch. I'm not letting you eat the pizza! Branch: Give me the pizza! Wayne: No! Branch: Don't make me take it away from you, Wayne! Wayne: Get away! Branch: Get back here, Wayne, give me the pizza! Wayne: No! Branch: Wayne! Wayne: No! Branch: Wayne! Wayne: No! Branch: Wait! Wayne: No! No! into Branch Branch: I want that pizza and you're gonna hand it over one way or another! Wayne: Look, we're saved! Branch: Sure, we're saved. Now give me some pizza! Wayne: No, really Branch, we're saved! We're saved! We're saved! Branch: Will you cut that out?! Wayne: a conga beat Saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Wayne starts doing a conga dance] Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, we are saved! Branch: That's just a stupid boulder! Wayne: It's not just a boulder. It's a rock. A rock! A rock! It’s a big beautiful, old rock. up it and rubs it Oh, us wolves used to ride these babies for miles, and it's in great shape. Branch: Wayne, will you forget the stupid wolf acts?! Have you ever noticed that you’re the only one left? That's because other wolves were lousy hitchhikers, ate trees and took directions from moss! And now, you're telling me they thought they could drive... runs over Branch with the boulder ...rocks? Hold on there, wolfman! Wayne: I can't wait to see the look on our customers face! doorbell Anger: Yeah? Wayne: Congratulations, sir. Your Transylvania Inc pizza is here! Anger: Wow, thanks! I've been dying for one of these. It... pause Where's my drink? Wayne: What drink? Anger: an angry tone My drink!? My diet Dr. Pepper. Don't tell me you forgot my drink! Wayne: through the order But, you didn't order any... Anger: yelling How am I supposed to eat this pizza without my DRINK?! Wayne: But... but... Anger Didn't you ever once think of the customer?! the pizza back You call yourself a delivery boy?! Well I ain't buying! door. Wayne goes over to Branch, smiling and trying not to cry Branch: Wayne? Wayne? It's okay. Wayne? drops the pizza, falls over, and starts sobbing Wayne? gets angry, grabs the pizza, stomps towards Anger's house and pounds on the door Anger: Another one? Look, I told your little dog I ain't paying for that! Branch: Well, this one's on the house! the pizza in Anger's face, knocking him out Wayne: crying Did he change his mind? Branch: smugly He sure did. Ate the whole thing in one bite. Wayne: crying No drink? Branch: Nah. Now take me home. up on the rock Wayne: Are you kidding? We have just enough time to make it back to work. up the rock where they are instantly at Transylvania Inc Branch: Work? cuts to black Oh, my aching feet! Category:Spongebob Sqaurepants Spoofs Category:Episodes